I Quit. (Until Tomorrow Morning.)

*A quick note that this article will come out during my monthly 7 day digital detox so once I get online I look forward to reading your replies and take on this article :)

Let’s get into it:

I never thought I’d say those words.

But a few weeks ago I hit my threshold of “pain tolerance” around 2 pm and I came back home to my wife and told her what had happened and told her that I was quitting everything... until tomorrow morning.

A huge relief got lifted off my shoulders.

As you may know, I’m a recovering Type A, recovering overachiever, someone who was a caregiver for almost five years to his late partner through breast cancer, someone who has run his own company for the past 6 years and who has been through a lot personally.

One thing I always told myself I would never do was quit. Because you can’t fail if you don’t quit.

That’s what kept me going through the hardest times of my life.

But on that day, I had just received some bad news from a friend, our business was slower than normal, I had to deal with some employee things, and so in order to de-stress I went to go play basketball because that’s my outlet.

If you didn’t know, last summer I went to Las Vegas for some scouting events to get recruited to potentially go pro in Europe or Asia, and at the start of the camp I got hit in the head right over my left eye and got a concussion.

The full experience: blacked out, bloody and concussed, and since that day almost a year ago I’ve been working on getting my head back to where it was before. I’m proud to say I am way better now than before the concussion, but there are still some lingering side effects.

I’m just setting the context because when I went to go play basketball to de-stress after everything that was going on, I got hit in the head in the exact same spot.

Right away my eyes closed. I asked myself, “Am I dizzy? Am I nauseated? Am I feeling different?”

The first words I said out loud with my eyes closed were, “Am I bleeding?”

The guys I was playing with said no.

It wasn’t a hard hit but enough for me to know that I would probably get a bruise.

Which I did. My left eyelid got swollen a bit and was all purple and blue.

So when I came home, I told my wife Ivy, “Listen, I have to be upfront with you, I got hit in the head playing basketball today.” She knew how much I had been working on getting my head back to where it was pre-injury.

Because she’s my wife and is my safe space, when I told her I didn’t feel like I had to have it all together like I do with my team and everyone around me.

I started to tear up and eventually cry.

I told her I always focus on doing the right thing, on caring for people, providing for people around me who are stuck, ensuring everyone is good, and she knows how stressful that is.

And all I wanted to do was play for fun to relax, but some of those guys are playing like they are in the NBA Finals when we are just playing for fun on a Tuesday afternoon at a 24 Hour Fitness.

In that moment, the combination of everything happening, the people I had to deal with, business being slow, being in the middle of packing our house for our move, and the new injury, simply made me hit a ceiling that overwhelmed me.

Which, looking back, I think is interesting, because I definitely had harder days when I was a caregiver dealing with cancer. 1000%, I’ve had harder days.

But now, since there was less on the line, I could somehow afford myself to feel my emotions versus push them down because I had to “keep it together” for someone.

I didn’t like the word that came to my mind of just wanting to “quit,” and I knew that it wouldn’t make me feel better because I love the impact I get to have in our clients’ lives. I love the life I’ve created.

There was a distinction there. I was simply overwhelmed by everything going on at the same time.

So I knew I just needed a rest, and I told her I quit until tomorrow.

I don’t care about doing the right thing right now.

I just want to shut off my phone, shut off my laptop, not try to optimize myself, and I just want to sit on the couch and watch TV and do nothing.

Which is not something I normally do.

So I did just that. I shut off everything, sat on the couch, watched TV. I really wanted to eat some donuts but I didn’t, because I know I said I quit but I didn’t want my body to feel like shit.

Ivy made a delicious dinner. I ate, relaxed, and fell asleep early.

I woke up the next morning feeling very different and ready to take on the day.

I’m sharing this because I know I’m not the only one who doesn’t want to quit on anything.

And I didn’t really. But saying “I quit” out loud, because life was happening all at once, made me relieve some pressure, just like opening the top of a kettle when it’s boiling.

It gave me space to process, reflect, and most importantly, relax.

I don’t know if this post will make sense because when I sit down I just write from the heart and I write as I speak to myself in my head, so I hope it closed the loop properly and that it helps someone reading this. It’s okay to have those moments.

It’s not about being perfect but about showing up, and it’s okay to take some time off from time to time.

I appreciate you for reading.

Sincerely,

Maxime Sigouin